Kilroy "Hasn’t Fucked Off Yet"

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London, England

Political commentators were dismayed today to discover that Robert Kilroy-Silk, the thinking woman’s emetic, still hasn’t fucked off from politics. The tangerine politician has been quiet of late, leading to optimistic rumours that he might have died, fallen into a coma or been accidentally fed into a giant orange juicer. Sadly, Kilroy is still in circulation, announcing the formation of his latest political party, Solo.

“Solo is a completely new concept in politics”, the orange man told bored journalists at yet another launch event. “It’s a party with only one member – me. When you vote Conservative or Labour you might get one or two top names, but the majority of MPs are faceless nonentities. With Solo, you get 100% Kilroy, so you know exactly what you're getting".

Mr Kilroy-Silk is the author of several scholarly essays, including "What Have the Arabs Ever Done for Us?", "Algebra : Who Needs It?" and the classic "I'm Too Sexy For My Wrist", which inspired a surprise musical hit for Right Said Fred in the 1990s.

Reaction from mainstream politicians was muted. “Why can’t he just fuck off?” asked an irritated John Prescott, while a bemused David Blunkett quizzed aides for several hours about the colour orange.

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